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Because it's now several days after Christmas, I would like to wish everyone a Very Merry Yule-Season!

As my gift to you, here's that old poem, "Tweeze Denied Beef Worker Isthmus."  Ideally, you'll all read it out loud to someone dear to you.
I am still working on a way to make these types of super-cool public statements known and shown.  They are forever inspiring, (and surprisingly prevalant) and it makes me think of how oddly secluded I am.

(Chris, you are gross.)
Edith Frost has a weblog.

Also, I regularily violate at least 3 out of the 4 Principles of Hand Awareness.
Last week was Hand Washing Awareness Week.  There was even a competition to come up with the best rap promoting hand-washing--the winner gets a poster of Henry the Hand, autographed by Henry himself!

Make sure you know the 4 principles of hand awareness!
How Banks Make Money, by Samantha, Cynthia, Tara, and Alex.  (I want to make web pages like this.)
All you ever didn't dream of knowing about browser support for Style Sheets.
Music Boulevard.
Toys "R" Us. joins the ranks of the "swallowed whole."  (via Tom)
Oh yeah!  (I want pictures tho)
The latest Netscape blocks pop-ups.  The Register brings up some interesting points about it.  Particularily, that this feature could make more people choose it over Internet Explorer.  This feature along with tabs are the reasons that I can't tolerate IE anymore.  I'm really intrigued by thoughts about if/why (and if/why not) IE 6+ would include these features.
I made some art.  It's the first in a series.
Just about everything about Ben Stein impresses me--the only exception is the show where people try to win his money.  Anyway, here's an article he wrote on how the USA can destroy its ability to innovate.  (2 pages)
Google has released the most important things/people of 2002, according to search queries:

Make sure to look at the timeline for some graphs on web-searches during specific events:
You want complete translations of bin Laden's latest statements, you've got them.

"audio statement" from a few weeks ago that rose a hubbub here:

"Letter to America" from November 24th:
BBC has excerpts from Saddam Hussein's public statement today.

Somewhat relatedly, here's a long recent (Dec 3rd) essay by Noam Chomsky about US & Iraq & the world situation.
Get out your shockwave-enabled browsers and learn . . . How to Dance Properly!
(I happen to be a master of the "Basic Twirl".)

Only slightly less impressive is his guide on How to Impress Your Date.
I made 2 icons (32x32 images, by my definition) tonight.  When I am able to updload stuff to sub-directories again, I'll make a link to them here.  (Despite their niceness on their own, they do not seem to make this page any prettier.)

As promised...
Boxes that are large-ish and uniformly sized are extremely useful--I have a end table and some shelves made out of them and some tape.  These folks, though, furnished an entire room with them.  The sofa is truly something to behold.
This article makes me want to get a palm pilot (but I'm not going to), a one-handed keyboard, a web browsing cell phone, and a bar code reader. (via RobotWisdom)

Relatedly, the Phoenix web browser is fantastic.
Humanity is doomed.

"You don't have to sing, you don't have to dance, you don't have to do
anything -- except think you're hot. It's good, pure fun."
An interview with Chuck Palahniuk (author of Fight Club, et al.), who references Kierkegaard way more than you would expect.
Frequently, we're more entertained and fascinated by those things which are the worst of their class--that is, we tend to give at least as much attention to those things that are really bad as we do to things that are really good.  Part of the wonder and mystery of the internet is its tendancy to document the horrible and bizzare. 

With all that being said, direct your hyperlinking skillz to:

The Gallery of Regrettable Food -

(first prize to the Gelatin Garden Salad - )
Niue, a pacific island nation just east of Tonga, holds a little over 2000 people.  According to the CIA world factbook, an important source of revenue for Niue is "the sale of postage stamps to foreign collectors."

Niue has only one ISP, but gets its own ccTLD, ".nu".

Glenn Fleishman has made a really neat-looking book searching site that, while hosted in what seems to be Seattle, has a .nu TLD in "an attempt to show how smarter systems combined with cleaner URLs can create shortcuts around roadblocks." (Much like this site, except for the shortcut-around-roadblocks part.) - (thanks, Krista.)
Q: What happens when you replace the word "heart" with "horse" in well-known pop songs?

If only I had a use for any of these...
I am the biggest security risk.
Soon we'll be able to listen to Real Audio without using Real One.  I'll have to add this into my 'music formats' info page.
Ever think that maybe the current administration just needs to get it out of their system?  These folks are taking donations to buy Prez. Bush a Playstation2™ with the game "Conflict: Desert Storm".

Added bonus:  VP Cheney gets his own controller!
Arts and Letters Daily ( is a frequently-updated list of news links for snooty people.  Although it's now owned by the Chronicle for Higher Education, the link-blurbs on it have the same biting wit as your favorite college professor.  It's good to know that someone is pandering to the liberal-arts majors.
Best Buy acquires Geek Squad.  "We value having fun," says VP.
Tom is selling his car.
(Select Minnesota from the drop down, then back up twice and hit the link again.)
The new online role-playing games are dominated by players who only care about the advancement of their characters (gaining levels, etc.)  Progress Quest ( takes these games to their ultimate conclusion.  From the manual:

"There is no need to interact with Progress Quest at all; it will make progress with you or without you."

Your character will go on random quests, kill monsters, and learn spells.  Automatically. 

If you're feeling snooty, check out the reviews. (
Back in the day, I got all uppity about the interpreted nature of art, ie. that art doesn't really make any clear statements, but instead calls for interpretation by the viewer.  I talked about Wittgenstein, but I should have been talking about the field of semiotics, the study of symbols and their interpretation.  There's nothing like finding out that your big idea has already been exhaustively discussed.
Brief glossary:
Index of intro texts:

(from an explanatory dialogue)
R:  Well, when they're represented they acquire additional meanings. Signs are never innocent. Semiotics teaches us that.
V:  And it teaches us to have dirty minds, if you ask me.

Fashion alert: Carmen-Miranda-esque hats of fruit are out.

What's in?
A seemingly innocent college-newspaper article on Filipino-American History Month:

The well-deserved retraction:
Mel Gibson is going to do a movie in Latin.

More pseudo-random about it...
The new best game of all time is at .  If you come anywhere near the high score, you should be kept away from society.

Don't give them any email addresses, though--their "Privacy Policy" says that they'll spam the heck out of you.
I've been documenting every cent I spend since 9/20/2001.  I have now created a graphical representation of my spending that includes a full year.  Do with it what you will.
Google news joins ranks of Yahoo news
I've had this page open in my browser for a couple of days now, and I can't bring myself to close it.

Announcing... the new......
Music page! (
Do you have too much time on your hands?  Need a project?

Have 52 of them.  (well, fewer now, but there will be more.)
If I were to write a punkrock song about a particular part of grammar, it would definitely be about subjunctive verbs.  Known also as "contrary-to-fact," they're the bane of Latin students and some of the supercoolest language constructions of all time.  Like everything else, they're explained and catalogued for your convenience on the Information SuperHighway. 

Using the subjunctive mood in everyday conversation is a sure-fire way to get that "special someone" to take notice!
Check it out.  My complete address in Google.
A crazy new way of gliding/flying.
Nelson Mandela, you rock.    [scroll past the ad.]
While looking around for info on world leaders, I found out that the world's largest religious dome is 170 feet across.  I also found out about this golf course in Malaysia.
Alejandro Toledo, current Peruvian president, speeks about his country in this link.  I had this idea about collecting links that include text written by / spoken by world leaders.  This one is kind of cool.
The definitive resourse on ninjas.  From the site: 

Q: What do ninjas do when they're not cutting off heads or flipping out?
A: Most of their free time is spent flying, but sometimes they stab.
I was at the MN state fair yesterday, having fun spending dollar coins to buy food.  I wondered if it would be inappropriate in any way (i.e. not respectful to the ways of normal circulation; hording the limited national supply; ...) to go to the bank and get loads of dollar coins for spending. 

To my astonishment, many banks don't carry them because there isn't enough demand.  And since banks aren't carrying them, they've stopped making them!!!  "The mint will decide in early 2003 if demand warrants resuming production of the coins for circulation next year."  From now on, I'm going to request all my money in Sacagaweas.
A psychology professor reports that incompetant people can't recognize incompetance.  I suppose it makes perfect sense.

"Not only do they reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of the ability to realize it."

(Note:  It's a NYT article--the first link may require you to register.  If you prefer not to, use the second link, which will generate a random login for you.  Just follow the instructions.  It's a super-neat idea.)
As the stock market has become more accessible to the casual trader, several companies have developed socially- and envioronmentally-conscious mutual funds.  These funds invest in companies which meet certain non-monetary criteria (e.g. no tobacco companies, no arms dealers, strict environmental policies, etc.)  Quite a few of these funds now exist, each catering to a slightly different group of people who care about such things.

ViceFund uses exactly the opposite criteria.  According their data, the wages of sin greatly outperform the S&P 500 over a 5-year period.
This is very, very odd.  (via robotwisdom)
Pretty nice description of how the mind sees color.  (This morning I had a revelation about color: Red and Violet [oposite ends of the spectrum] seem "near" to each other, and are placed adjacent to each other on color wheels so often because they are nearly "octaves" of each other, as 700nm (red) is nearly double 400nm (violet).)
Michelle works here.
Look at this.  If you click on squares from the top 3 rows, you get satellite images of the future.
This is kind of funny.  Actually, it's really funny, for a little while.
I haven't listened to any of this guy's music, but he's my new favorite rockstar.  From the info page:


This page features many jokes from Russia, which have now been translated into English for your amusement and amazement.

- What feet you have, Vasily Ivanovich. They're even dirtier than mine.
- That's because I'm much older then you, Petka.
First there was the terrifyingly addictive game "Bridge Builder."  Now the same company had released the sequal, "Pontifex," with a 1st-person view option!  Also don't miss "Triptych," which is like Tetris, but the blocks are bouncy and have inertia. 

If you can stop playing these games quickly, then there's probably something wrong with you.
Admittedly, sometimes random e-mails that I didn't ask to receive actually contain useful information.  Here's an excerpt from something I got today.  I've only heard of two of these cartoonists, but the rest, by virtue of being in a list with the two, are probably worth checking out.  (Some hunting will be necessary, as these are all probably pretty obscure.)

The first-ever collection of its kind, Bright Red Rocket brings you "God Hates Cartoons," a DVD of
delightful animations from stars of the alternative comic scene!  An entire disc of hilarious fun, "God
Hates Cartoons" features over 20 cartoons, artists' galleries, comics and secret surprises.

The stellar lineup includes:

- Jim Woodring (Frank, The Book of Jim, Trosper)
- Tony Millionaire (Maakies, Sock Monkey)
- Kaz (Underworld)
- Sam Henderson (The Magic Whistle, Humor Can Be Funny)
- Ivan Brunetti (Schizo, Haw!)
- Mark Newgarden (Garbage Pail Kids, B. Happy)
- Walt Holcombe (Poot, King of Persia)
- Tim Maloney (Underwear Girl)
- Lance Myers
Search Engines: Google & Kartoo.  What is going on?
PetitionOnline is an fantastic catalogue of what people think other people will care about.

Included in the links:
--A petition in favor of cake
--A demand that the original NES be returned to production

What does it mean when you're reading excerpts from the Congressional Record and you can't stop laughing?

(And people wonder why I like Al Gore so much.)
These guys have been put in charge of a contest where someone will win a yacht.  However, the yacht has no name yet, so are running a sub-contest (ha ha) to see who can come up with the best name.  I have submitted the S. S. Rock Musician, and the S. S. Vague Descriptor.  Surely you can do better.
"Most likely ... the Internet's role as a site of radical business and technology innovation, and its status as a revolutionary force that disrupts existing social and regulatory regimes, is coming to an end."  - an excerpt from a book that is reviewed the link below.  This is a depressing (yet undeniable) overview of the internet (including its means to prevent web-diversity).

Also, the most twisted and dramatic scheme to overcome these problems [at hand, at the very center/top of the internet] that I've ever read. (extremely well thought out.)
Via RobotWisdom, I found/read this CounterPunch article about Palistine.  When Jorn Barger uses "Goddess-priestess" to describe the author, you know it's going to be good/whelming.  I included a link also to my (quite possibly) all-time favorite CounterPunch article, from March.
I didn't know exactly what to think of Lindows before, and now I really don't know what to think.  Walmart is going to sell computers with Lindows preinstalled.
Computer generated mark-up that's so bad, it's funny.  (May require a little knowledge about html.)  ... Does that third message say something about html e-mails being penalized?  I wonder how widespread this practice is?
Cool Linux article.  The comment entitled "A minor concern..." is what's crucial for me.  It's nice that the article author responded to it.
This site is now being advertised on Google, officially.  I am filled with puzzlement so far.  There are far fewer questions than answers, not surprisingly.
The tale of a kid who was after a Boy Scout merit badge. . .


Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you what is possibly the most useful webpage ever.

  (examples include how a singing fish works, and how "military pain beams" will work.)
I've been following the progress of the in-developemnent operating system, Lindows OS.  It's "open source," and the open source community is all in a hoop-la about everything Lindows does, because I guess on some level they're not playing by the rules.  On the other hand, Michael Robertson (Lindows CEO) & crew it seems is dumping loads of money into furthering current open source code -- most interestingly and inspiringly, WINE.  Here's everything current I can find on it.

Some more thoughts:
1. This whole click-and-run service seems very silly to me so far.  But this happens to be a key feature in Lindows' business model.
2. I am totally undecided about signing up for the sneak previews at this point.  I think I'm not clear enough on the situation, as a lot of this is new to me.
3. I would need an OS such as this to be able to run in order of importance: Mozilla/Netscape, The Bat! e-mail client, EditPlus, Photoshop, and (unfortunately and leastly) MS FrontPage.  Realistically, I could not make the switch without these.
LCD Monitors: after a bit of looking on Pricewatch.

It looks like just about all of the 15" monitors are 1024x768 (the ideal resolution?) and well under $500.  17" and 18" monitors are 1280x1024, and anywhere between $500 and $1000.
In case anyone is considering being a well-known philosopher, a helpful how-to text is provided by The Philosophers' Magazine.
Technique 1

Begin by making a spurious distinction. . .
You may not have been aware of the tremendous contoversy surrounding "Contemporary Christian Music."  Some say it is as terrible as music can be, but others feel that it's a tool of darkness.  From this site:

"I believe the evidence is overwhelming that Satan is the author of rock music."

"No honest person can deny that God intends for a man to have short hair and a woman long hair. Asking silly questions like, "How long is long?", just shows your rebellion to the Word of God."

And for Mitch:
"One simple guideline for Christian music is NO DRUMS!"

It's terribly unfortunate that I tend to sign emails with "Rock music".  The fires of Hades will soon consume my degenerate lifestyle.
The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) and the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod (LCMS) are quite different in a number of ways.  These theological differences may account for the differences in the appearance and layout of their FAQs.

(Note:  The content of the FAQs may also be affected by the differences in theology.)
"Origami, is Japanese art of folding paper. Boulder is round rock. Origami Boulder is wadded up paper! You understand now, dumbo? Then hurry up and buy wadded paper!"
Back in the day, all of us cool nerdy kids could flip our pens around.  However, nerdy as we were, we couldn't flip our pens like this guy.

Question: supposing that you were a very nice person who wants to buy music, what is the "best" way to obtain that music with regards to supporting the artist?  (without, of course, going totally overboard.)

Knowing very little about this (but speculating anyway), I would have to say the best way is to either attend a concert and buy CDs there, or (the next best thing) buy CDs via the label or the label's web site.  I have done this once before, with somewhat satisfying results, and I see no reason not to do it again.  In fact, I'm going to with these 2 CDs.

I've noticed there is a severe lack of links to labels in favor of linking to cdnow or amazon.  Why this is, I'm not entirely sure yet.  (But I have a hunch or two.)  I'm having grand thoughts about making a web site that links albums to the "best" ways to buy them (i.e. the labels).  I'm not entirely sure what the best way to go about that is, but I think I might try something like this soon.  (input welcome.)
Seven ten-year-olds were hauled into the principal's office and sentenced to one week without recess.  The crime?  Pretending to shoot aliens with their index fingers.

"These students crossed the line," Terch said. "From what I heard, the play was very dramatic."

(I wish I could still slay aliens with my index finger.)
It seems that and are entirely different places.
Also, a link I found via, "droplifting," which seems to mean "discs are smuggled in and left in the racks of record stores without their knowledge."
(Note: the 3 links below are not listed for their clarity.)
Stephen "MC" Hawking, the mighty physicist, is also a mighty rapper.  Quoth the bard:

"I explode like a bomb, no one is spared,
My power is my mass times the speed of light squared."
The World Rock Paper Scissors Society maintains a vast archive of information on the sport, as well as propoganda from years past.  Articles are on a variety of subjects, (such as "The Myth of Dynamite Exposed") and the on-line trainer is not to be missed.

Make sure to look at the 1950 Soviet declaration which would have destroyed the game if it had succeeded.
Main Entry: dic·tio·nar·a·o·ke
Pronunciation: 'dik-shun-er"-A-O-ke
Definition: Audio clips from online dictionaries sing the hits of yesterday and today. The fun of karaoke meets the word power of the dictionary.

I especially recommend Liz Phair, the Bugles, John Lee Hooker, and the surprise appearance of ECC vs. John Denver (You know what I mean!)
The age of not necessarily supporting Netscape 4.xx is beginning to be upon us.  I have been getting into some of the cool stuff that has been invented (the standard stuff, not lame or proprietary stuff) since Netscape 4.7 came out.*  The current state of this web page is an example of some of the neat things style sheets can do (not a particularly refined example -- I am still learning).  These are some style sheet references I use most when I make pages that use them. 
(I may attempt to augment this list as I find more links.)

*it has been a surprisingly long time.
I didn't actually get a chance to finish reading this article, but I plan on picking it up again soon.  This "George Soros" character intrigues me a lot (based only on the beginning of this article); I might even try to find and read his book, _On Globalization_.  He seems to have a consistent attitude that no society can be perfect (surely too many utopian thinkers fall into this trap), yet should (can/do?) constantly search to improve.  These are a very nice sounding pair, especially when attributed to societies.
While online language translators have been around for some time, they haven't been used much by the highbrow literary establishment.  Until now.
I recently took an online quiz which determined which religion I was.  I took it twice--the first time, I mistakenly submitted it without answering half of the questions.  Both times, the Religious Society of Friends ranked very highly.  Who is this mysterious sect with its own brand of oatmeal?
In regards to the below googlethread, you may want to take some time to read the FAQ.
This news group makes for some of the hardest reading ever.  This thread has some nice self-recognition.  It's also pretty. (note: do not post here unless you know what you're doing.)
Quite frankly, if there's a better use of my time than this, I don't want to hear about it.
This is one of the coolest threads I've ever read.  Also, from now on, I'm going to try to regularily check up on newsgroups under comp.infosystems.www.authoring.*  They are sheer excitement.
Input devices for computers have desperately needed a revelation for a long time now.  Cordless optical mice are a nice (small) step forward.  These also look interesting, and if they were 1/3 to 1/4 the price, I would own one.
My involvement in this page has led me to this thread. 
(note especially, message #3.)
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