Contact, Follow:

El Edwards, the voice of "You've Got Mail," will provide you with custom sound files.  For a small fee.

The possibilities are . . . certainly funnier in theory.

And on the "About Me" page--from his "Selected achievements": 

--Identified, qualified, hired, trained, promoted (and when necessary, separated) employees at all levels. 

What kind of company needs someone to occasionally separate the employees?
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